Learning that your ex is dating can bring a flood of emotions and for some, life gets easier:
He actually started dating someone who was another parent at our school and our children are friends. A lot of people want that to be a big drama but I noticed a change in his behavior towards me instantly. I didn’t want him back so all I could do was just say, “I’m really happy for you.” And I was happy for him. It actually made my life easier to just let it be and not make a stink over it. ~ Michelle
Michelle’s children were aged 12 and 14 at the time of her divorce. Her daughter had mixed feelings about her dad’s choice of girlfriends – it was less about the person though and more about the changes it meant to her relationship with her friend and the way her dad handled the situation.
The Divorce Coach Says
Learning that your ex is dating can bring some unexpected and surprising reactions:
- maybe they’re dating sooner than you would have expected
- maybe they’re dating someone you know
- maybe they’re dating and you’re not
It’s important to sort through these emotions before you attempt to draw any conclusions about your children being around this person.
If you’re feeling envious because you wish you could reconcile try to discern if your feelings are genuine or realistic, or more likely, if they come from your grief or even that reconciliation would mean an easy way out of a current difficult situation.
Your feelings of envy could also be less about your ex specifically and more about you wanting to be in a relationship.
Understanding these emotions will clear the path for you to think more clearly (rationally?) about your ex’s new partner.
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