Dealing with divorce is tough enough. When you throw in the kids and everything you have to do to maintain a sense of normalcy, it can feel like you are balancing the weight of the world on your shoulders.
But you still have to do what’s right for your kids. And, what is right is having both extended families present to celebrate milestones—especially birthdays. That means step one in the entire planning process is to put your feelings aside—no matter how much baggage is left over from your divorce.
So, what’s the trick to having a birthday party with your ex and their family? Host it away from home. Then, neither of you will have to feel like you are imposing on the other’s personal space.
Here are five tips for hosting your child’s birthday party away from home.
Don’t wait until the last minute. First of all, you are juggling two different families. So, you need to be sure that you give enough notice so everyone can attend.
Next, you need to find a venue. You will need plenty of space. So, you should start looking for banquet halls or a theme-oriented site. Since it’s a child’s party, a sit-down restaurant is probably not the best place to reserve. And, more often than not, swimming parties, skating parties, and other kid themes party venues don’t give the kids enough time to visit with both sides of the family.
Parks and picnic shelters are a great place to start looking—if you are willing to make the weather a factor in your planning. They are affordable, and they offer plenty of space. You don’t want to have to worry about the number of guests attending when you are dealing with your ex. Things could easily get misinterpreted, and it could lead to unnecessary fighting.
Instead, start looking for the ideal place early.
Put Everything in Writing
When you are communicating your plans with your ex, it’s wise to put everything in writing. Communicate via email instead of phone calls. Text messages are another great way to have a communication trail.
This way should something get mis-communicated you have a paper trail to prevent any arguments with your ex.
Also, put everything in writing when you are communicating with your ex’s family. They will want to help, and you should let them. If you use email and/or text messages to carry out the necessary communication, you can avoid any type of argument that may occur due to miscommunication.
Remember, the goal is to put on a party for your child, not to stir up drama with the ex and his/her family.
Divide Up the Jobs
Both parents and their family members will likely want to be involved in putting on the party. Don’t be afraid to ask the other side for help. Who doesn’t need help when hosting a party? The more support you get, the better.
Not only will it extend an olive branch, but it will also show your kiddos that you care about all of their family.
Stay Focused on the Child
This is easier said than done, right? Divorce can be ugly. And, it can leave behind some deep wounds and big scars. But nevertheless, you have a responsibility to make your kids’ birthdays about them—period.
So throughout the entire process—from planning to hosting to cleaning up—you need to put all the baggage aside and focus on the kids.
Speak to Everyone
This is never easy after a divorce. But, you have to make sure that you don’t allow anyone to feel unwelcome. Yes, it will be hard. Yes, you will have to swallow your pride. But again, it’s not about you.
The more you speak to everyone, the faster the ice will break, and the more comfortable future parties will be to host. It’s that simple.
Both you and your ex must let the past stay in the past, and you must move forward and try and create a co-parenting relationship. This is more than inviting all the people who are important to your children to their birthday parties. It means building an inviting atmosphere for everyone as well.
After all, the goal of a birthday party for your kids and their guest to enjoy themselves. And, if you are hosting the party, it’s your job to create that type of environment—even if it’s hard.
Hanging out with the ex and his or her family tops no one’s list of favorite things to do. But, when you have kids, it’s not about you. Your little ones want to have both of their parents around to celebrate their birthdays. And more importantly, they want you to get along for the day. So, suck it up and do it—even if it’s hard.
Despite your feelings towards your ex and his/her family, it’s your job to make it work.
This is a sponsored post on behalf of Discount Party Supplies.