We all worry about the impact our divorce will have on our children. Working out the logistics and minimizing the conflict with your ex are two ways you can help your children. There's something else you can do too: The part to focus on with kids and divorce, is how do we make sure that they've got the coping skills to recognize what's going on outside of them and be able to … [Read more...]
Wisdom From Divorce: Confronting Your Fears
Going through divorce is hard not just because of all the dramatic changes but also because many of those changes mean confronting our fears. My therapist said, "I want you to close your eyes and tell me everything that scares you about you moving out and imagine that all of it happens, imagine all of the worst things happen. Tell me everything it is." ~ Swati Swati's … [Read more...]
Wisdom From Divorce: The Silver Lining To Divorce
In all marriages there's a division of labor and so when the marriage ends, it means you have to take responsibility for all those tasks your spouse used to do. That doesn't necessarily mean you have to do it all - you may be able to find service providers to do some tasks- but most of us do find ourselves learning new skills. That can be a silver lining. Even though I … [Read more...]
Wisdom From Divorce: Does Your Spouse Just Want Out?
Couples counseling or couples therapy is a standard recommendation for anyone whose marriage is in trouble. That does require a commitment from both partners and that isn't going to work when one partner has already decided they're done. He had made up his mind that this marriage was not where he wanted to be. He wasn't willing to work on it, he wasn't willing to fight for it, … [Read more...]
Wisdom From Divorce: Don’t Brawl In Public
Teenagers often feel embarrassed by their parents and as parents we might feel that there's no good reason for that. But when it comes to divorced parents arguing in public, the kids have every right to feel embarrassed: A teenager has so many things to deal with as it is. The last thing in the world they want is their divorced parents having a brawl in public. ~ … [Read more...]