My current interviewee Debbie shared how she went against expert advice in ending her marriage at the same time as she was getting sober because the work of getting sober would be easier without the emotional stress of her troubled marriage. She was very aware of the negative energy from her marriage but that isn’t always the case. Here’s another of my interviewees, Molly:
I really hung onto the marriage for as long as I could but once he was gone and out of the house I realized how much more peaceful my life felt. We were engaged in so much daily bickering and conflict and huge fights all the time that I had become so used to that as my life.
You might wonder how it’s possible not to realize the extent of the trouble in your marriage but one reason for this view is when, like Molly, you just don’t see divorce as an option.