It’s hard for some people to understand how this happens but it’s not uncommon for someone to lose their sense of self in a marriage:
My ex was much older and took on this subtle parent role. He was very controlling down to what we ate, what clothes he approved of me wearing. We ended up having a pretty sheltered life. By the time we split up I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t like to go shopping because I didn’t know what I liked. I had somebody else’s voice in my head that was louder than mine.~ Holly
Holly and her husband had been dating for about a year when an unplanned pregnancy led to their marriage. While they may not have known each other very well, he had a significant hold over her. Holly sees finding herself as her greatest accomplishment after divorce.