This is the last segment in Nancy’s series – this has been a challenging series because despite having been separated for three years, Nancy still has a long healing journey ahead of her. Her story is not without its victories though – Nancy has learned to drive herself. It might not sound like much, but I’ll leave Nancy to explain…
While I was married, I didn’t need to know how to get to places and to drive. My husband always wanted to drive but now if I want to go places, I have to. I used to depend on him so much, because I get lost everywhere I go. It was one of things that made me realize how dependent I was on a man for everything. I felt like a lost child at my age.
So then, out of necessity, I bought a GPS, a SatNav as we say in England. I needed to buy furniture and I wanted to go to a store that was far away because the furniture was much cheaper. In Brazil, we say,
“When the water hits your bum, you learn to swim.”
The first time I had the GPS, I drove all the way to Dover to go to France and I went to France for the day. I wanted to test it. I was petrified, because also I had never driven on the motorway in this country.
I’m still petrified, but the GPS was my savior. Sometimes it goes a bit wrong, so I get slightly lost, but without it, I would just stop the car, sit down and cry because I have no idea, I have no sense of direction, mainly from not being from this country.
It may sound silly to other people, but to me it’s an accomplishment, every little thing I do for myself, I feel proud. I’ve done it. I’ve had the courage to do things on my own, like traveling and driving by myself in places I didn’t know.
The Divorce Coach Says
This could be me telling this story! I was married for going on seventeen years and my husband would always drive when we went out. I would drive myself to work, kid car pools and errands but when we went out as a couple or a family, he would drive, I would navigate. When we separated, I was nervous about driving on my own and getting lost. I took a trip back East and rented a GPS with the rental car and that convinced me – I needed a GPS.
As Nancy says, this may seem like a minor thing to some people but it is precisely these little achievements that give us confidence and make us believe in ourselves. Like Chris Guillebeau at The Art of Non-Confmity says, these little things are kind of a big deal – don’t underestimate their power and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
Is there a task or a skill that you’ve learned since your marriage ended that gave you a surprising boost in confidence?
As I said in my intro, this is the last segment in Nancy’s story and I’d like to thank her for sharing her story with such honesty. Nancy, if you’re reading this, I hope your divorce is now final and you can truly start to move forward. Please remember how driving with GPS made you feel and believe in yourself.
Photo credit: Qole Tech