For this last post in Carolyn’s series, I asked her if she had any divorce advice for someone who was thinking about ending their marriage or in the early stages of divorce. Here’s what she said:
I guess if I was going to share anything with people who are reading this and feeling as nervous and terrified as I was, is that this stuff is so intimidating to look at, it seems so impossible, it’s this huge mountain you’re supposed to climb, and what I’ve learned—and it’s so cliche—is that it’s really one step at a time. That’s so true.
All of the things I’ve done would have seemed impossible to me, but you just do them one step at a time. I wanted to get the nursing degree, and I had to start off with a math class at a high school, but I did it and then I took the chemistry class which seemed scary, but I did it. That prepared me for the anatomy and physiology which I did, and that got me ready for the nursing class.
I feel like all of these things, they seem so impossible, but each one of the steps is designed to get you ready for the next step. That’s true in school and it seems to have also been true in life. I’m starting to trust the universe more, that each one of these challenges is frustrating and difficult, but the next challenge is less scary because I’ve dealt with something like it. I’m starting to trust the process a little bit more.
I just do it, one step at a time, and it’ll come together. You’ll get through it and you’ll meet the challenges because you have to.
The Divorce Coach Says
As Carolyn says is not only good advice on divorce advice but also for life in general. Following this you won’t always realize just how much you have accomplished until you take the time to look back and see how far you’ve climbed. If you’re having trouble seeing how to break something down into baby steps trying asking yourself this: What I need to do that?
So Carolyn wanted to become a qualified nurse: what qualifications do nurses have? How do I get a nursing certificate? Which colleges in my area offer the program? What do I need to get into college? When do I need to apply? How do I get this piece that I missing? Draw yourself a map and then follow it. Keep reminding yourself what your end goal is and why you want to get there. At some point, you’ll realize you’re more than half way there and that will encourage you to keep going. One step at a time.
One of the biggest obstacles you’ll face is your own fear. Swati has some advice for that … verbalize everything it is about the particular topic that scares you and imagine that it all happens. What’s the end result? Is it really so bad? What can you do to change the outcome?
Photo Credit: hellojenuine