Wishing your spouse would die is an undeniable sign that your marriage is in serious trouble and it's time to face reality. I kept thinking we were in our late twenties and there was no way I was going to be able to divorce this man. Maybe he'll be killed in a car accident. I would fantasize about that but I would feel such awful guilt. ~ Pippi Pippi knew her husband in high … [Read more...]
Wisdom From Divorce: The World Is A Scary Place After Divorce
Divorce often means living by yourself afterwards and if you've never done this before or it's been a long time, then learning to take care of yourself can be quite intimidating: I was one of those people who moved out of their parents' house and into their husband's. I didn't learn to take care of myself. I was in school the whole time. I had a job during summers but it … [Read more...]
Wisdom From Divorce: Divorce Does Not Mean Broken
Much of the language around divorce is negative and that sub-consciously sets expectations for what ending a marriage is going to be like. It's like a self-fulfilling prophecy and yet, it doesn't have to be that way: I intentionally want to try to change this mis-language of broken and ex's. It's deeply embedded in our culture but hopefully we can think about it in a new way, … [Read more...]
Wisdom From Divorce: Adult Children Still Need Support
Advice about how to tell your young children about your divorce is plentiful but there's less information on handling your adult children. Perhaps that's because we think they're grown up and better able to cope, better able to understand. The reality however is that they still need support: There were times when I wasn't as supportive of my kids as I should have been. I was … [Read more...]
You Are Still A Parenting Team
How children handle divorce is heavily influenced by the degree of post-divorce conflict between you and your ex. One of the most obvious areas for that is with your parenting: My parents did not take any of my crap. If I were to play off one against the other, they knew and both of them were of the same mindset. They just handled it because they were parents. They were my … [Read more...]