Wishing your spouse would die is an undeniable sign that your marriage is in serious trouble and it’s time to face reality.
I kept thinking we were in our late twenties and there was no way I was going to be able to divorce this man. Maybe he’ll be killed in a car accident. I would fantasize about that but I would feel such awful guilt. ~ Pippi
Pippi knew her husband in high school but they didn’t date until later. They were married for eleven years but Pippi says it was always a struggle. Seeing herself divorced was just as much of a struggle so she created a fantasy world of what it would be like to be single again.
I’ve found that this is topic that isn’t openly discussed because it is dark and sinister and not something that most of us are proud to fess up to. Yet, it is very common. One thing is for sure … if you are fantasizing about your spouse coming to harm, then you need to be exploring divorce and seriously, a divorce coach will help you. If you’re already divorced and you’re still having these fantasies, you may find it helpful to get counseling around forgiveness.
I think this fantasy can become even more intense after the divorce. I say that with some humor.
You may say it with humor but I know it to be true. Personally, since my post-divorce parenting relationship has been is very civil and also because the major hurdle I had to overcome in divorce was confronting conflict, my fantasies of this have gone. However, I know from talking to others, when the conflict continues post-divorce so do these thoughts and it is very understand.
Agreed with Lisa. I wrote about similar feelings on DivorcedMoms.com:bit.ly/1fnoKfz
Sometimes I imagine all the destruction and pain that would have been avoided had I not saved my husband’s life. After the divorce, he continues his pattern of hurting his family, and himself. I wrote about this here: http://weepingoak.wordpress.com/2012/10/08/9-11/
Dear WeepingOak – thank you for sharing your story so honestly and openly. Sadly, he’ll never be the dad you want him to be and I understand how painful that it is. Wishing you strength and courage, Mandy