When your marriage is ending or is deeply troubled, don't be surprised to find yourself thinking, "I lost myself in my marriage." In my marriage, I had really lost myself. I had lost my confidence and I had allowed myself to believe that I wasn't capable of many things. So it was almost surprising that I could make decisions, that I could stand up for myself, that I could make … [Read more...]
Wisdom From Divorce: Was My Marriage A Lie?
When your marriage ends because you discover your spouse has been deceiving you since the very beginning, you ask yourself, "Was my marriage a lie?": The fact that he was cross-dressing behind my back is, to me, a betrayal on the worst level. It's like my whole marriage was a lie. I feel honestly, that he stole twelve and a half years of my life. ~ Andrea Andrea and her … [Read more...]
Wisdom From Divorce: I’m Afraid Of Being Alone
Have you ever asked someone whose marriage is clearly troubled why they stay? Ever heard, "I'm afraid of being alone?" or "I'd rather stay married than be alone?" Coming out of marriage at thirty-six I felt fear and loneliness, the fear that I would never find a match that I would really love, ultimately on a primeal level, that I would die alone. ~ Sally Sally and her … [Read more...]
Wisdom From Divorce: Divorce Makes You Face The Truth
Divorce is scary. It's scary because it's unfamiliar to most of us. It's also scary because it has a way of stripping away all our protective layers. Divorce makes you face the truth about yourself: I feel that's a great thing divorce does - it makes you really face truth, whatever that truth is for you. I had to face my own demons. I had a ton of fear, a ton of insecurity, … [Read more...]
Wisdom From Divorce: Is It Too Painful To See Your Ex?
Parenting is hard work and it's even harder when it's important to partner with your child's other partner but it's too painful to see your ex or for your ex to see you: The only time my ex and I had trouble was in the first two years after our divorce. I was devastated, he was devastated in a way he couldn't even look at me. He couldn't be around me. It was so hard. I never … [Read more...]