Jolene has just moved out of the marital home she and her ex shared. Far from being sad about, she’s excited.
I stayed in our home when we separated. That was almost a year ago. We’re selling it right now but with the state of the economy and the housing market, it’s a short sale so it’s been a process to get to this point. It’s a real relief to finally be able to sell the house. I don’t feel like it’s my house – it’s still ours. I’m moving to a townhouse that I’m renting. Now that feels really exciting – to have my own place that has only my memories and not our memories. Being able to leave it and move on feels really good.
In the beginning staying in our house did make it harder. Now I’m sick of it. I’m sick of dealing with it. I want my own and it doesn’t feel like my own.
I have some friends go through divorce and for them it was painful for them to have the memories and to remember certain things about their life living in that house. That wasn’t really the case for me. It just didn’t really feel like mine and I wanted to have my own identity and my own everything. Now I will have that and I’m looking forward to that.
The Divorce Coach Says
You can read more Jolene and how she felt about the short sale, at her blog To Be Determined.
Like Jolene, the kids and I stayed in our home temporarily and my ex moved out. I didn’t want to keep the house – it was too big (five bedrooms) and I didn’t want to have the maintenance. While that house was on the market, I found a new home and we moved into that a little more than year later. The kids were excited about moving especially since they got to decorate their own rooms. They were relieved at no longer having to keep the house “show ready” – I didn’t appreciate the strain that had been on them till we were moving.
That was about 18 months ago and unfortunately, the marital home didn’t sell. We rented it out for a while and now, finally it looks like it’s sold. The closing is not for a couple of weeks so I’m thinking positive thoughts each day that it will happen. I will be so relieved not to have to deal with the house anymore. I want to say that it will also be one thing I’ll no longer have to deal with my ex on but having said, I also have to say it really hasn’t been bad – we’ve been able to work together to get yard maintenance done – he’s mowed the lawn, I’ve pruned the shrubs and we’ve also been able to agree on the financial aspects too. But I still be relieved when we’ve closed and it’s over.
How did you feel about your marital home? Did you stay in it or move? How did you and ex decide what to do? Were you glad to move or sad?