Between the ages of 22 and 38 Kim Katz was married twice and divorced twice with one child from her first marriage and two children from her second. Anyone who’s been through a divorce can easily guess some of the challenges Kim has faced. She is most proud that through it all she has maintained a steady state for her children and stayed employed and that’s thanks to her intuition.
When I was with my first husband I had a sense very early that I was going to need to support myself. I was married when I was 22, I was too young and had a child right off the bat. I knew I probably shouldn’t get married before the wedding but everything was paid for and my invitations sent. If someone had said, ‘You don’t have to marry this jerk,’ I probably wouldn’t have. He was not the kind of guy who could be faithful. I thought once we got married that would change but it didn’t.
I had graduated college with a teaching degree but we were living in Summit County, Colorado and there were no teaching jobs. That’s when I decided to go to nursing school, knowing that would be a great way for me, if I needed to support myself that I could, wherever I went.
I wish someone had said to me in high school, ‘You could be a doctor.’ However, my family was more traditional so I was encouraged to go into more traditional women roles, like teaching. I just had this built in belief that I would get married and have kids like my parents did. There was no foresight and I think the first divorce jolted me into reality. If I’d had the insight earlier, I would have liked to have gone to medical school. But once you have a child, that’s a very difficult endeavor especially if you’re single.
When I was in my first year of nursing school I was still married. I found out I was going to get divorced two days prior to my second and final year of school. I was living in Durango at the time and found that my husband had taken my school money to take his girlfriend away for the weekend. I thought about leaving Durango and moving to Denver right away but the nursing schools there had a two year waiting list to get in and I thought, I just need to get this done because I need to be able to work. So I stayed in Durango and finished my year.
Then, after my final exam, I went home and at 10 a.m. the hospital in Denver where I wanted to work called and offered me a job. My car was already packed and I just took off. I don’t know what I would have done if I didn’t get the job but something told me you need to be ready.
My daughter stayed in Durango because I needed to find an apartment. She was a young, young child so I felt it was better for her to stay with her grandparents and her dad while I went and got established and got myself settled. For about a six month period after that it was hell because my daughter was going back and forth between Denver and Durango. I was working and of course when you’re a new graduate nurse you only get night jobs. So when she was with me she was in day care and night care, which was not ideal. Then her father decided to move to the Denver area and that made it better.
I’m just proud I could foresee that I needed to be able to support myself and nursing has allowed me to maintain a good home for my kids and not really have to rely on anybody financially.
Today, Kim’s still nursing and her daughter is a student athlete in college on a volleyball scholarship. Kim has also remarried and says this is what a good marriage is all about. I’ll be sharing more of Kim’s story in coming posts so stop back and visit. Feel free to leave a comment – if you were married and divorced very young what impact did that have on you? Oh and one more thing from Kim’s story … could we all promise to sincerely ask our child – son or daughter – on their wedding day, if they are truly committed to the relationship and be prepared to support him or her if the answer’s no?