When is the last time you felt truly happy in your romantic relationship? It is not uncommon for couples to go through lulls or periods of unhappiness, but if you feel that your bad times are outnumbering the good, it may be time to get proactive.
Couple’s therapy is a great way to get your problems out in the open and learn how to improve your relationship. However, not everyone is comfortable sharing personal and intimate details of their relationship with a relative stranger. It can be difficult to be so vulnerable with someone new, especially about such sensitive subjects as sex, emotions, and your past history as a couple.
If you feel like your marriage is on the rocks and want to take matters into your own hands without involving a therapist, we’re here to help! Here are seven tips for using marriage courses, communication, and laughter to help save your relationship.
Be Willing to Take The First Step
Do you have a stubborn streak? Many of us do, especially when it comes to our spouses. Sometimes it feels like even in the silliest situations, we will absolutely refuse to back down.
Save yourself and your partner from the pain of going through a divorce by working on your relationship before it’s too late. Don’t be too proud to take the first step in saying “we need help”.
Instead, be humble and loving. Suggest to your partner that you take positive steps forward to correct the issues in your relationship.
Do A Marriage Course
Marriage courses can be a great way to work on problems from the privacy of your own home.
Marriage courses do not require you to share personal information with others and can be done at your own pace. The lessons include communication strategies, learning to have empathy and compassion, sharing goals, boosting intimacy, and learning what role traditions play in your marriage.
So long as both partners commit to the lesson plan, you should see improvement in your relationship.
Date night is another great way to boost your emotional and physical bond with your spouse. Studies show that couples who have a regular night of romance one or more times a month commonly experience a deeper connection, better communication, and increased sexual satisfaction.
Kiss Regularly
If you are not getting along with your spouse it can be difficult to imagine being vulnerable and intimate with them. Especially if they have betrayed you emotionally or physically.
However, if you truly want to save your marriage, building an emotionally and physically intimate relationship is essential.
The oxytocin released during acts of physical intimacy such as having sex, holding hands or kissing has been shown to increase trust between partners.
Kissing also activates the brain’s reward system and makes you feel happier. Further research also goes on to prove that sexual satisfaction predicted heightened emotional intimacy in couples.
Be Grateful
If you feel like your relationship has been on the rocks for a while now or you can’t stand being around your spouse most days, it can be hard to want to think up nice things to say about them. Yet, gratitude is an important part of marital happiness.
Research shows that couples who regularly expressed gratitude for one another commonly experienced relationship satisfaction as well as an increase in goal pursuit, commitment, and intimacy.
Take a step in the right direction by writing down a list of all the positive qualities your partner has. Think of all the kind or loving things they’ve done for you; consider how they treat others and go out of your way to find reasons to be appreciative that they are your partner for life.
Get Rid Of Distractions
Trust is an important part of any relationship. In fact, this study done by Northwestern University and Redeemer University College found that couples who trust one another enjoy more fulfilling relationships than those who don’t.
Being trustworthy means that you are reliable and live up to your word. In order to build trust in your marriage, you must rid your life of any bad habits that would stand in the way of you and your spouse having a forthcoming relationship – such as addictions or affairs.
This includes online infidelity as well since studies show that online cheating is just as traumatic and dangerous as a physical affair.
Do A Self-Examination
Research by the Institute for Family Studies show that the most common reasons for divorce are divorce, growing apart, lack of commitment, and addictions.
Opposite of this, studies about lasting marriages show that treating your spouse like your best friend, viewing your relationship as sacred, and agreeing on goals were some of the top factors in what made a successful relationship.
If your relationship used to be the center of your world and has now fallen to the wayside, it’s important to do both a marriage check-in and a self-examination.
A marriage check-in is an opportunity for both partners to come together and have an open and honest conversation about the relationship without receiving judgments.
Doing a self-examination can also be beneficial because you are constantly setting goals to be the best version of yourself possible.
Learn How To Communicate
As any marriage course will teach you, healthy communication is the foundation of a solid marriage. Both partners should be able to come to one another with concerns or comments without the fear of being yelled at or misunderstood.
Couples should communicate regularly and learn how to resolve problems the right way – by cooperating, listening, and attacking the issue at hand, not each other.
Do you feel like your marriage is broken? Don’t be discouraged. You can fix a damaged relationship by ridding your life of harmful distractions, practicing forgiveness, and boosting relationship communication. You can also take advantage of online marriage courses and use the lessons provided to improve your relationship.
Author Bio: Rachael Pace is a relationship expert with years of experience in training and helping couples. She has helped countless individuals and organizations around the world, offering effective and efficient solutions for healthy and successful relationships. She is a featured writer for Marriage.com, a reliable resource to support healthy happy marriages.