Even though you may know your marriage is deeply troubled, the idea of divorce may be horrifying particularly if it’s your spouse who raises it. Given time and hard work however, your view of divorce may change:
It wasn’t my decision to get divorced although I might have come to the same decision because I knew things were pretty bad. When he first said he wanted to get divorced I was horrified because I thought, “OMG we have a child!” and given where our relationship was, I thought it could give worse. Now, after all this process we’ve gone through, we can actually be relaxed and friendly with each other, make decisions together and be flexible. It seems like a really good deal.
Kathleen Christensen and her husband were married for about nine years and their daughter was aged seven when they separated. They used the collaborative divorce process for their legal divorce. Even though it was emotionally demanding and lengthy, Kathleen says the unexpected benefit was the deep appreciation she now has for her ex and their amazing co-operative parenting relationship.