By Cathy Meyer
Suddenly finding yourself on your own to deal alone with issues such as money, children, a job and maybe moving from the family home can induce stress. Stress can keep us stuck and being stuck means not getting all out of life we deserve.
The secret to getting unstuck is the awareness that life is not limitless. We only have a certain amount of time here and you have a choice, you can spend that time regretting, grieving and worrying or you can “let go” accept that things have changed and get on with living the life that is waiting for you.
How is this done?
Stop burning daylight!
There will come a time when you will need to stop grieving the loss of your marriage. You have children to raise, a home to make, a job to work and a new self to find. You’ve no choice…if you want to be happy, but to put together a plan that means you being happy, productive and living a meaningful life. For me, that meant putting one foot in front of the other until doing so became second nature. Before I knew it I was off and running in the right direction.
Hold off those negative thoughts!
To a large extend our thoughts determine how we feel about a situation. If you are constantly telling yourself that “life is horrible,” or “I can’t do this alone” then, guess what? Life is going to be horrible and you won’t get anything done. I had a huge “light bulb” moment about four months into my separation.
I had spent months telling myself I was a failure, that life was over, I couldn’t parent alone and “what the hell am I going to do now?” One day I was wallowing in it when something occurred to me…I could be anything I wanted, live anywhere I wanted, do whatever I wanted with my money. I was in charge, I was calling the shots and where I went from there was completely up to me. And, all of a sudden there seemed to be more opportunities open to me. That usually happens when we become open to opportunity!
Stop viewing your divorce as the end of something and start viewing it as the beginning of wherever you make up your mind to take your life. Now, go ahead, let go…and do it with style.
Cathy Meyer is a Certified Divorce Coach, Marriage Educator and Legal Investigator. She works with people who expected to be married forever but are now facing divorce. Through her writing and individual coaching, Cathy provides clients with strategies and resources that empower them and equip them to grow through a time of adversity.