I’m wrapping up this series on name changes after divorce – who knew there were so many points to consider? For some women, it seems it’s a pretty straight-forward decision, for others it’s definitely more complex. If you’re going through separation or divorce now, here are some questions to ask yourself:
- How will you feel about having a different last name from your children? For some women, having the same last name is part of a being cohesive family group. For others, having the same last name is less important and reclaiming their maiden name is an integral part of separating from the marriage.
- How do your children feel about you having a different last name? Unless your children are very young they will almost certainly have an opinion. I think asking them for their input is just one way of conveying that what they think is important to you. It doesn’t mean you have to follow their wishes – it does mean that if what they’d like is different from what you’re considering, you have some talking to do.
- How will you feel if your ex remarries and his new wife takes his last name? If you both live in a small community or are part of the same business or social circle, you might not want to be Mrs Smith, the first.
- What name do you want? Do you want to go back to your maiden name? Perhaps hyphenating your maiden name and married name is an option? Is there another name you’d prefer, maybe your mother’s maiden name?
- Is there a lot of debt associated with your married name or are you concerned about your ex accessing your accounts? If yes, then seriously consider changing your name. You are still absolutely responsible for any debt assigned to you but it may be easier to repair your credit rating and you’ll be distancing yourself from the marital debt.
- Do you feel your professional career is dependent on your married name? Would changing your name be too disruptive to your business? Maybe you’ve established yourself in your community with your married name and feel that you’d be losing that hard-earned reputation by changing your name.
- Do you feel that changing your name will make your divorce more public than you want it to be? Certainly, if you have children and you change your last name, you’ll have to get used to introducing yourself and then explaining whose mother you are. Personally, I felt awkward doing this at first because I felt I had to explain the reason behind the name change. Now two years later, I don’t give it a second thought because if I’m introducing myself it means the people don’t know and there’s no need for me to explain why I have a different last name to my child.
- Would you like to change the names of your children? Hyphenating your name with your ex’s could be an option – best to talk to your ex about this first before raising any expectations with your children. If your ex doesn’t agree with it, it may be difficult to get a court to agree to it.
- Are you willing to work through all the logistics of changing your name? Getting a new legal name maybe the easy part of the equation, especially if you do it as part of your divorce. Registering your new name with every government entity and every company you do business with can be time-consuming and frustrating. I don’t think the logistics should be a reason not to change your name but it’s something to think about.
Got a question I didn’t cover?