For the last in this series of posts about Jolene, I asked about dating. You might recall that Jolene had been with her ex for about ten years and it’s now almost a year since they separated. Since they had no children I was not surprised by Jolene’s answer.
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I have jumped into the match.com dating frenzy. I signed up in July and I’ve gone on a few dates. It’s been interesting. I’ve been out of the game for 10 years and before that I wasn’t really a dater – I jumped from relationship to relationship. I was still young then. It’s just a whole new world for me. It’s actually been a lot of fun. Who knows? Maybe I’ll find somebody out of it?
However, I’m not putting any expectations around it or expecting to find the next one. I think that’s helping me keep it to more of a fun thing – a new experience instead of getting down by dates not going well. There are so many restaurants and places I haven’t gone to in the last years. I don’t know why that happened but I’ve really enjoyed trying new places and meeting new people in different areas of Boston. My ex was kind of a stick in the mud. We didn’t really go that many places or if we did they would just be in our town and not really anywhere new or different.
Who pays? I’ve only had a few dates and they’ve only been the first date – they haven’t gone further than that. I’ve offered to split the tab but they’ve always just picked it up. I’m not going to complain about that but I think if they were to progress to date two onward I think it might become more of a let’s split the tab but I’m not really sure. I’ll have to ask around.
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The fun news is that Jolene has now had a second date with boy #7 and if you’re curious, hop over to her blog. This is the last post on Jolene’s story – if you want to read all the posts about Jolene put her name in the search box and if everything is working the way it should be, the posts will show up.
If you’ve been following this blog for a while you probably know that I’m not dating. I think there are a number of reasons for that – I started going out with my ex in 1987 so it’s been a long time and I am intimidated. I’m not sure I know what to expect. I also don’t have much free time available – that might be a chicken and egg situation – do I purposely keep myself busy? I think if you’re going to use a service like Match.com then the quality of your experience will be directly related to the energy and honesty you’ve invested in building your profile. So if you’re not going to be serious about it then you’re wasting your time and probably setting the course for a dissatisfying experience. So far I haven’t been willing to make that investment. I also have two teenage children still at home – I like to being around when they’re around and I think that’s important right now than my dating. All that being said, I still think about my friend who resolved at the beginning of the year to go on one date … just one date. Last time I checked with her she hadn’t but stay tuned for any updates.