Divorce means losing your partner and no matter what the circumstances of your divorce it is only natural to miss your spouse:
It was realizing that when I got someplace there was no one to call at the end of day and say, “Hey, don’t worry, got here, everything’s great,” or no one to call at the end of the day and say, “Wow, let me tell you what was cooking.” I’ve got some dear people in my life but that call I would make at the beginning of the day or the end of the day would be to my husband and that call wasn’t there anymore. ~ Terry
When singer, songwriter Terry Radigan’s twenty-year marriage ended she chronicled the breakup in a new album, The Breakdown of a Breakup. She said that before her divorce she didn’t realized how attached she was to the idea of who she was and then after divorce, she had to adjust that because her husband was no longer a part of her. It was very unsettling and isolating.
It can also be helpful to separate the behavior from your spouse … in Terry’s example (and I’m using this just as an example; it’s not what she said) it might be that she doesn’t miss speaking to her spouse because that connection was lost but she does miss having that one special person who she would always call and the feeling of intimacy that came from those phone calls. Recognizing the behaviors, the actions, the connections that you miss can help you formulate what you want from a future committed relationship.