When Page Lambert was divorced about five years ago, she had been married for 25 years and lived on a ranch in Wyoming. She left the ranch and moved to a small cottage in the nearby town where she lived for about a year before moving to a mountain town close to Golden, Colorado. There she took care of her mother who was dying from cancer. After her mother’s passing, Page spent about 18 months in Sante Fe, New Mexico before moving back to Colorado. That’s a lot of moving around however Page says it’s been a major area of growth for her since her divorce….
Rather than feeling like I was just a citizen of Wyoming, I really began to feel more and more like a citizen of the West. Colorado, Wyoming and New Mexico all have a sense of home to me now, in many ways.
I was so deeply rooted in the ranch – I lived on the ranch, I worked on the ranch, I wrote about the ranch, my friends were there. I left because my husband is a fifth generation rancher and I really felt it would kill him to leave. What I didn’t realize was that it would almost kill me. It was truly about saying goodbye to a lifestyle, in addition to the man I’d been married to for 25 years.
Feeling rooted in the land again is what helped me heal. More than anything, that means developing an intimate connection with the land. It really is very organic, very earthy and very literal. I lead outdoor adventures, and coach and counsel on how to reconnect with the natural world so this is important to me both personally and professionally.
When I moved to New Mexico, I felt very mute at first. It was because I didn’t know the language of the land. That changed as the seasons changed – spring came and flowers would start to bloom out in the desert that I recognized and the landscape came alive for me. Seeing the land through the four seasons is important – it cements that sense of belonging.
Hiking helps. It can be as simple as walking to the closest open space and just sitting and listening and observing and repeating that – going to that same place day after day so you get a sense of what it’s like at dusk or dawn.
I know I really didn’t begin to heal from the divorce, from the separation from a lifestyle, until 10 months ago when I re-rooted back to Colorado. There’s a wonderful horse pasture here so I now I have a horse again. I’ve just adopted this little rescue dog. Getting animals back into my world has helped me. And …. I did fall in love again with a wonderful man.
The Divorce Coach Says
Reading Page’s writing and learning about her work, you quickly get a sense of the deep connection Page has with the natural world. She makes me wonder how much I just don’t notice on my walks on my local trail. I can understand how traumatic it would have been for her to leave the ranch and then the key role the land would play in her healing. How about you? Did your divorce mean moving to another state or another country? What has helped you feel rooted in your new community? Want to know how Page found love again? Come back and visit.
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Page Lambert is a writer with a gift for nature and the western landscape. She mentors people who want to creatively connect more deeply with the natural world. Page facilitates outdoor creative adventures and in 2006, Oprah’s O Magazine featured Page’s ‘River Writing Journeys for Women’ as one of the top six great all-girl getaways of the year.
Page shared a story, “These things I can love” in a guest post recently. It’s an extract from a narrative non-fiction she’s working. You can read more about Page and her work at her website and at her blog.