In one of the cycles of couples counseling my ex and I went through (we tried it three times), the counselor urged us to think back to why we chose to marry each other. What were the qualities we saw in each other? What was it that we enjoyed about each other's company? She suggested that identifying these would be the clue to us once again finding common ground and getting … [Read more...]
Appreciating your ex after divorce
It’s been about three years since Kathleen Christensen and her ex separated. Their divorce was challenging, fraught and exhausting. Using the collaborative divorce process, however, they were able to build a foundation for their new relationship as co-parents. Now, unlike with many traditional divorces, Kathleen is able to see the positives in her ex. In the final segment of … [Read more...]
Seeing your ex blossom after divorce
When T and I chatted, she was midway through her three hour drive to visit her beau, Rascal and me-time is one positive of a good co-parenting relationship with your ex. Without me-time, developing a new relationship would be very difficult. T said she was pleasantly surprised by her relationship with her ex. *** There's still some awkwardness. He's very private and I'm not - … [Read more...]
Should my ex come to my father's funeral?
If you caught my When putting yourself first means divorce post, you'll know that my father passed away suddenly and unexpectedly last Monday. He lived in England with his second wife. I'm here in Colorado and it's been a draining week filled with phone calls and emails as we all try to come to terms with my father's passing. Communicating for us has a few logistical … [Read more...]
Being Friends With Your Ex After Divorce
Jolene and her husband were together for almost 10 years when he said he wanted to end the marriage. Although it wasn't what she wanted then, she says they are still friends. *** We've always been friends and that was the way we ended our marriage. It wasn't my choice but I'm actually glad my ex made that decision. It sounds cliché but he said he loved me but was not in love … [Read more...]