I started this series about Mama J yesterday when she spoke about the value of independence after divorce. Mama J said she thought learning to be self-sufficient helped her in her second marriage and helped her to be a better mom. And without hesitation, having children, she says is her most significant accomplishment since her divorce. Here's why. If I hadn't have gotten … [Read more...]
When a child sees life as better after divorce
I like to think that a big discussion in any divorce is how the children will react. What impact will divorce have on them? What can you do to insulate the children from the pain? It’s a question I always like to ask my interviewees. Kathleen Christensen’s daughter was seven when Kathleen and her husband decided to end their marriage. When I asked Kathleen about her daughter, … [Read more...]
A Detailed Parenting Plan May Bring Safety And Flexibility
In Building a parenting plan around your child's schedule, Kathleen Christensen shared that the relationship between her and her ex had gotten so bad at one point that Kathleen would only talk about substantive issues if they were meeting with their lawyers or their psychologist. Amazingly, Kathleen says, now, after three years of living apart they are able to talk to each … [Read more...]
Figuring Out Different Parenting Styles After Divorce
Kathleen and her ex are committed to co-parenting together and I think one of the challenges of co-parenting is how you deal with your ex’s rules when they’re different from yours. Should you try to get him to change and follow your rules or should you work at getting your child to accept there are just going to be different rules? Kathleen and her ex are finding they still … [Read more...]
Building a parenting plan around your child
I think by now you have an idea of how challenging Kathleen Christensen's divorce was. Just to refresh your memories, Kathleen was married for about nine years and their daughter was seven when they separated. Kathleen has described the co-parenting relationship she has now as a miracle. She credits not only the collaborative divorce process for this but also the decision to … [Read more...]