I first heard about Parental Alienation years ago when actor Alec Baldwin went public with his difficulties with ex-wife Kim Basinger. At that time there was some debate as to whether Parental Alienation was real or just a normal consequence of parental behavior. Today, it is generally accepted as a real and potentially very damaging situation. In Esther's case, … [Read more...]
Religion: The Wedge Between You, Your Kids and Your Ex
After Esther Adler realized it was time to end her marriage she and her husband lived separately under the same roof. Almost immediately he started to use religion to drive a wedge between them. Even worse, he was using religion to distance their children from her. Here's Esther: I grew up religious. He grew up somewhat religious, too. We were married in the religion, we … [Read more...]
Can Children Understand the Realities of Divorce?
As a parent I've tried to shield my children over the years from the issues that keep me awake at night. I tried not to show my deep and growing discomfort with my marriage; I've tried not show it when I've been worried about money; and I've tried not to show it when my ex's behavior is bothering me. I imagine other parents do the same. So when I was interviewing Ashley about … [Read more...]
The Impact of Bad-Mouthing Men
One piece of standard, basic parenting-after-divorce advice is not to bad-mouth your ex in front of your children. When the advice is ignored, children can feel caught in the middle and guilty for enjoying time and love with the bad-mouthed parent. Sometimes the bad-mouthing is directed broader than just the ex and applied to a whole gender. That's what happened with Ashley's … [Read more...]
When Mom Remarries …
Ashley's parents divorced when she was fourteen. After that she lived with her mom and barely saw her father. Her mom started dating soon after the divorce and remarried while Ashley was still at home. Ashley had always been close to her mother however, a new step-parent changed that dramatically. Here's Ashley: After my mom separated from my father she moved into a small … [Read more...]