It’s been six years now since Mardell left her second abusive marriage and with some unexpected help, started to turn her life around. Today, she’s focused on growing her colonics business and raising her son. The transformation in her life is very visible but it goes much deeper than that. In this last post about Mardell, she shares the important of confidence and an unexpected joy from her healing. Here’s Mardell:
I am a different person now. An absolutely different person. I had exposed myself to so much trauma that by the time I got out of my second marriage, I actually thought I had amnesia. I couldn’t remember my childhood, my teenage years, my twenties, my thirties and even some of my forties.
All those memories were just pushed out of my mind. Your body does that to protect itself. As I’ve been healing, getting calmer, feeling safer and being supported, I have the memories coming back. As people stand behind me and say,
“We’ve got your back. It’s OK, you can do this, you’re strong enough, speak up,”
I’m remembering my life. Of course, there are parts I don’t want to remember, but at least I can remember some things.
I get memories of things I actually really enjoyed that had gone away, fun travels, trips, people I’d met. It’s not all bad.
I had forgotten everything. I literally had no memory of my life or people. It all went away, almost like a form of trauma amnesia.
My back is still not perfect after the spinal injury but I’ve got a good crew of people helping me out, encouraging me to go back to dancing. I was a dancer and I’m trying to go back. We’re trying to get that nerve to calm down so I can get my life back.
It’s really all about confidence. Confidence that you can get out and be strong, be on your own and do it.
I learned that I had everything inside of me. There was nothing I needed that wasn’t inside of me already. I had all the capability, all the skills I’d been taught and that I’d learned in life and I could apply those to learn about colonics and then help other people.
And, I learned I had to set my priorities.
How is your life going to go from here?
How are you going to take who you are and go forward in your life?
How are you going to make your life the best it can be?
The Divorce Coach Says
Mardell makes a great point – you can have all the skills you need but you need confidence in yourself, to use them. She’d helped two men build successful businesses, both of which declined when she was no longer involved. She didn’t need to be in business with anyone else, she just needed to believe in herself. And while the business is legally hers and hers alone, she has a strong support network standing behind her.
I loved too Mardell’s comment about memories. Memories help us understand who we are today and I have so many questions about my parents and my childhood … my mum passed away almost twenty years ago, my father passed away quite recently and I’m yearning to spend some time with relatives that will reminisce with me.
I want to thank Mardell for sharing her courageous story. I’m confident her son will grow into a healthy, loving adult and Mardell’s business will continue to grow.
Up next is a change of perspective – Bucksome Boomer has been divorced now for eighteen years and I thought it would be interesting to talk to her about her divorce now that so much time has passed. How does that time change your perspective? Are there still challenges?