One of the hard realizations of a troubled marriage is that no one else can make the decision to end your marriage. It’s either you or your spouse:
I was always kind of inactive in my life, kind of passive. I would sit around and complain that nothing good was happening to me and and I was just going to be miserable but getting off my butt and getting out of a bad situation, having to fight through that divorce was a kick in the pants. If I want my life to be good, I have to go out and make it good. I can’t wait for someone to save me or to come and tell me what to do. ~IronSpineSally
IronSpineSally (yes … she really does have an iron spine) dated her husband for eight years before they married. During their four year marriage, IronSpineSally had to face sexual problems, addiction, and her own infidelity. Ultimately she found the strength to leave and discover true love.
Being the one who says, “I want a divorce” can make you feel like you’re the bad guy but if it feels like you and your spouse are going round in circles, your marriage is in tatters and nothing is changing, you may just have to be the one to force the issue.