Hey everyone, my name is Jeff Kappel. My cousin Sam, who is more like my brother, and I are both personal trainers. We have a deep passion for all things health and fitness, and enjoy helping people by adding more quality to their lives in any area we can. Personal training really ends up being more like therapy and that my friend, is perfectly fine with us.
Mandy and I were chatting about emotional triggers that cause us to do things we KNOW aren’t good for us in times of emotional, physical, and mental pain. So, I’m going to touch on some stuff I’ve seen personally from people who are either going through a divorce or are already divorced.
Being Selfish is OK
First, I must say, if you feel alone, scared, or worried in your current relationship or lack of, we want to help. I’ve witnessed numerous family members over the years go through divorce, some simple and easy, some brutal and downright nasty. I want you to know, especially all you women, it’s OK to be a little bit selfish and do some positive and uplifting things for yourself, OK?
You should also know that I am brutally honest and upfront with everyone because I believe we ALL need to be responsible for changes in our lives, no matter what happens. Nobody is going to magically change it for us. So how can YOU make healthier choices in very emotional times?
Being More Aware
The first thing I want to talk about is the need to monitor our emotional thinking and actions by thinking from a more aware and conscious/rational state. This can be a challenge but let’s identify a few things you can do. We operate 95-99 percent of our day from our subconscious mind, which means that we are going to do things we’ve learned and been programed to do from our past. If something tragic and emotional happened in our past and we turned to ice cream, booze, a box of tissues and our couch, we are probably going to do that again when our body feels that same emotion and frequency. It’s no different than putting on our right or left shoe first, day in, day out.
If you’re not familiar with the pain versus pleasure principle, in it’s most simple terms it means that as humans we move AWAY from pain and TOWARDS pleasure. There is a catch however. We EACH have our own definition of what is pain and what is pleasure. What’s pleasure today might be pain tomorrow. For example, that pint of ice cream or bottle of wine might be pleasurable right now but not tomorrow when you wake up and step on the scale or look in the mirror.
So, in my opinion, self -awareness is KING or QUEEN. We need to be aware of when we are about to make a not-so-good decision that will lead to more pain down the road. Seriously, next time you are about to make a self -destructive choice THINK and ask yourself, “Self, what is the outcome of this? Is this going to be uplifting and positive or cause me future pain and discomfort?”
When you’re about to sabotage your well being, it’s vitally important to dig deep and think of the consequences of the decision you are going to make.
- Is this fast food, ice cream, alcohol, laziness going to contribute to me becoming a better me, feeling better mentally and physically OR is it going to throw me in a downward spiral of attaching pleasure to the temporary numbing and make me more likely to repeat this behavior again?
- Is this decision going to make me a healthy, vibrant, smiling, joyous person who everyone wants to be around or is it going to turn me into a depressed, lazy, self-conscious, unmotivated ball of negative energy that everyone avoids like the plague?
I don’t bring this up to be mean or harsh, I bring it up because it’s reality. Everything we are discussing here was the same stuff I had to fight. It all came out of necessity, I was either going to accept responsibility for my life and REALLY LIVE or be this unhappy mess of a soul who merely existed and passed on this one time opportunity to truly live.
Find Your Feel Good Trigger
So what can we do instead of the temporary fixes that are going to cause more pain down the road? I totally understand that working through relationship problems is a very stressful time and this causes MANY of our physical and emotional problems. Stress hormones cause men and women to gain weight, that’s clear. How do we limit this?
I wholeheartedly believe that when we are not feeling good we MUST do things that TRULY, on our deepest level make us feel good and I mean REALLY feel good. I’m talking about things like listening to music that changes your mood, watching your favorite movie that puts you in high spirits, going on a walk with some friends. Want to know what I turn to? Anything that makes me laugh, I believe laughter is the best medicine in the world.
I can thank my right hand man Sam for helping me with this. I was being a complainer one day and he suggested I snap out of it and do something that made me feel good. So, out came the iPod, I cranked open Pandora, and started listening to Daniel Tosh who is one of my favorite comedians. As I listened to him my worries disappeared and I was smiling and giggling like a little boy. Not only did I find my “feel good trigger” but I also had a support person to nudge me along. Even if you feel “alone” if you put it out there, someone will help.
The truth is we ALL have problems. How we handle the problems is paramount and is what makes the difference. Program your mind to get creative, think freely, and find a solution instead of becoming paralyzed and having a panic attack. It’s that habitual programming again, like a broken record playing over and over. Remember, most of the problems we worry about never actually happen!
Sam Kappel and Jeff Kappel are cousins who’ve been attached at the hip since they were ankle biters. Now they are health and fitness professionals who put a unique spin on showing people how to truly unlock and open the door to complete happiness and peace in life by living a healthy, balanced and fulfilling lifestyle. They strive to put the “feel good” back into your life. Follow them on twitter: @newbodysecret.
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