When Heather-Marie divorced she said she was determined to keep her lifestyle – she had enjoyed traveling with her husband and wilderness camping and wanted to keep doing those activities. Buying a dog enabled her to feel secure and she drove from Colorado to New York, with her dog, camping along the way. I thought that sounded quite adventurous so I asked her what other fun quests she’d been on since getting divorced. Here’s what she said.
I have done so many fun things!
I finished law school, became a lawyer and then quit being a lawyer. I really hated the practice of law and part of that was related to what I saw in family law cases. I don’t understand this myself, but I became a waitress and bartender and now I’m managing restaurants. I always say I’m a creator. I like to think of different ideas.
My biggest adventure is that I moved myself from Colorado to a city I love, Seattle. I made a whole new life, all on my own. I didn’t inherit it from my parents or anyone. I live in a great place and I now have two dogs. It’s just been great.
Traveling on my own was fantastic. I went to London and France and had an absolute blast. Being on my own forced me to make relationships with people along the way. I bought a Beeker finger puppet and I put him in my bag so I would think of me and Beeker were traveling through Europe.
I speak a little French so when I was in France, I got to sit on the steps of the Sacré Cœur, talk politics with French people and drink wine. I went to cafés with people I’d never met before and practiced my French a lot. When I was in London, I was staying at hostels so I met some people and we all headed out to the Globe Theater to watch a Shakespeare play. I’ve learned so much more by having to be independent and I’ve had more fun doing it.
At first, after I was divorced, I would get lonely and it was always then that something happened to show me I was not alone. There’s not a time in your life when you’re alone. Whenever you need someone, there is someone who’s there for you. Even if you’re sitting alone in the woods, you’re really surrounded by life. You’re really never, ever alone and I think that’s the biggest lesson of spending time alone.
What’s that saying, “Seek, and ye shall find?” It’s a Bible quote, actually (Matthew 7:7). That seems to fit what Heather-Marie is saying here. I think what is key though is that you have to open yourself up to the possibility and that does mean being prepared to take a risk. And that’s scary. But I guess the more you do it, the less scary it will be.