When Lorraine was going through her divorce, she had a refrigerator list …
It was a list of quotes. Some of them came from books I was reading, others I’d heard. They were sayings that really defined or said alot about character or who you can be. They helped me say to myself, ‘Hey, wait a minute. I just really got trashed on. The guy abandoned me, literally, with an eight word note.’ They helped me be the person I wanted to be through the process.
“Never confuse a single defeat with a final defeat,” by F. Scott Fitzgerald was one. Another was from Maya Angelou – “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
I didn’t have a refrigerator list however there was a Dixie Chicks’ song that I would put on repeat in my car when I needed a boost to my inner strength. It was “Not Ready to Make Nice” from their Taking The Long Way album. What rang particularly true were these phrases:
“I’m through with doubts – There’s nothing left for me to figure out”
“I’m not ready to make nice – I’m not ready to back down – I’m still mad as hell and – I don’t have time to go round and round and round – It’s too late to make it right”
“Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should”
At this time I knew I couldn’t stay in the marriage but my husband hadn’t accepted it. I could see and feel what single life would be like and I knew that was where I needed to get to. I also knew the months ahead, working through the separation would be difficult, challenging and draining. I was angry at myself for not having the strength to confront a number issues much earlier in our marriage. I was sure there was no way I could try, again, to make it work. I was done with always trying to keep the peace and not making waves.
Did you have a refrigerator list? What were some of the quotes that rang true to you? What about music? Was there an artist or song that you played to lift your spirits?