Sara was 27 when she and her husband separated and she was faced with being the primary parent. Wondering how she could cope made her nervous but now she looks at her transition to a single parent with a sense of pride and accomplishment. Here’s Sara:
Being able to be both parents at once, being able to handle everything from activities to schooling to doctor appointments to homework to bedtime, discipline, doing it all on my own would probably be my biggest accomplishment.
My ex traveled a bit so I had a feel of what it would be like being a single parent. I was nervous about the financial aspect. It’s scary raising two kids when he wasn’t giving me any financial support.
I was nervous about parenting them by myself because I didn’t know how they would react especially with the discipline part. He was always the stricter, sterner one so would they listen to me? Would this be OK?
I’ve been going to counseling and a support group and with reading books, I’m finding myself again and finding my strength on my own. My family has never really been the supportive type but they have supported me and my decision. They did the best they could to give me strength but a lot of it I found on my own. I pushed through and told myself,
“I can do this.”
The Divorce Coach Says
I remember feeling intimidated about being the adult in the house after my husband moved out. It sounds silly now looking back because ours was a very traditional division of labor – I took care of running the house – the cleaning, the groceries, the laundry etc. and I managed the kids’ schedule. So what was I so afraid of? I think some of my fear was around being the only adult with two children so it was two against one but it did all work out. It was a transition – gradually I got their schedules so I could manage them on my own and when I couldn’t, I learned to ask for help from friends and I found what every newly-single woman needs: a handyman. I learned too that it wasn’t the end of the world if I didn’t do everything perfectly, if we missed an appointment or were late or forgot to take a homework assignment to school … we’ve all survived.
Coming in the next post, the moment that Sara knew she really could do it.