After Kristi left her marriage, she made a list to start her new life. It was a list of everything she would look for in new relationship that she didn’t have in her marriage. And soon she was in a relationship that she now says was very similar to her marriage. She remembers very clearly what helped her end that relationship and that was accepting that God had a plan for her. Here’s Kristi.
God has always played a part in my life and He has a plan for me. I didn’t always believe that but as soon as I figured out He had a plan for me and I let Him take charge and lead the way, life got much easier.
I had gone out with a guy for maybe two years after my separation. He lived in Mississippi so it was a long-distance relationship and it wasn’t a very good one. We had a mutual friend and I was talking to her one day when she said,
“I think it’s time you and I just start praying that either this thing will end and you can go on, or he will figure it out and you guys can together and it’ll all work. There’s got to be somebody out there that will be the right person for you and I know God has that person for you.”
I thought about what she said and I started praying about it. That day, for some reason was the beginning point for me. That relationship ended not long after that conversation and my life became peaceful after that. There was no more drama in that regard. I felt like I had to go through that to get to where I was at and He was trying to show me something. He had a plan and He knew I needed to learn another lesson.
It wasn’t two months after that, this fabulous guy walked right into my office. I’d known him and worked with him for a couple of years. We never spoke, he always courteous and nice. He knew I was divorced and he was just like some men are, scared to death of a woman who’s been through a nasty divorce.
He was also recently divorced and I ‘d heard he’d started dating a gal who had six kids. That day in my office, I said,
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”
He looked at me kind of funny and I said,
“A woman with six kids? That’s a huge responsibility. Are you sure you want to go down that road?”
He looked at me and said,
“I don’t think so. I actually don’t date her anymore.”
I said,”OK” and he walked out the door. The next day he called and said,
“Would you like to have lunch?”
I said I would and three months later we got engaged and in three months we’re going to get married.
The Divorce Coach Says
I’ve often admired the trust and acceptance that religious people have in a “bigger plan” that enables them to go with the flow, not knowing where it’s going to lead them and yet being comfortable that it is what is meant to be. From my non-religious perspective, I see that as recognizing that there are situations when you can try too hard and when you do it’s like pushing a truck uphill. And once that realization hits, the trick of course is to let go and know that whatever happens, happens for the best.
Often times those moments of realization are memorable, moments when our thinking is so clear and focused. Kristi’s (@divorcetohappy) recollection of her conversation with her friend is one such moment. And then after letting go what she had been working at so hard, she walked right into a relationship that was meant to be. She even talks of the details of wedding proposal being part God’s plan for her.