Second weddings tend to be very different from first weddings. Certainly, for my interviewees their second weddings have meant less parental involvement, less tradition, less theater and staging, and less money.
But it’s not just about less. Second weddings seem more real, more authentic, and more intimate for both the couple and their guests. And that to me is the beauty in second weddings.
My current guest, Lucy got married for the second time five years after her divorce and her second wedding was in stark contrast to her first wedding. Here’s Lucy:
My first wedding was in a church with all of my college friends, and all of my parent’s friends and all of my ex-husband’s parent’s friends. It was very much the traditional church wedding, “Oh my daughter’s getting married,” that kind of thing. I grew up in a small town, so it was in my hometown.
My first wedding dress, I donated. One of our department stores has this Goodwill sale every year. So, I just put the box in the Goodwill sale bin. Then, my wedding ring, I was actually fundraising for a marathon, so I pawned it to a jeweler to get money to run the marathon. That way I was able to get a little more money for it, because they got a tax write-off as well.
I still have the photos and they’re in my attic somewhere. I haven’t look at them lately.
And then, my second wedding, the parking lot that we met in is attached to a restaurant overlooking Lake Michigan in Milwaukee. So, we just had our family, like our brothers and sisters and parents. And I got married on the steps overlooking the lake. We got married by a judge and had a Mariachi band and then went back to our house and had all of our friends to our house for just a party. It was very casual and it was really fun.
My daughter loves to watch ‘Say Yes To The Dress‘ on TLC and frankly it scares me. While it may be fun entertainment, Yes To The Dress and other wedding reality TV shows perpetuate the fairy tale wedding myth. It’s easy to see how people get caught up with all the wedding day planning and I have to ask how much time and energy are they investing in the marriage itself?
And am I living in an alternative reality? Do people really spend six figures on a wedding? Even with that sort of budget, I’d still chose the intimacy of Lucy’s second wedding.
How did your second wedding differ from your first? Do you have a favorite?
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