Regardless of who initiates divorce, you inevitably start wondering what you could have done differently. That’s an important question because it can hold the key to a fulfilling, meaningful relationship in the future. Even so, there are some situations in which nothing you could have done would have prevented the end of your marriage:
My husband coming out as gay had nothing to do with my attractiveness or my sexuality but you don’t understand any of that in the beginning. What you see is “I’m losing my husband. There must be something wrong with me.” So it’s a blow to your self-esteem. You feel not only that you have been betrayed but you also feel very stupid for not understanding, for not seeing it earlier.
Carol Grever had been married for more than 30 years when her husband came out as gay. Carol has turned this devastating experience into a new career offering much-needed and valuable resources to straight spouses whose partners come out as gay.