Reconciling divorce with your faith can often be a struggle regardless of the circumstances. It can down to your view of what does your God think of divorce.
Today, I’m starting a new series. Let me introduce Elsi Dodge, writer and RV Tourist extraordinaire. Elsi has been married and divorced twice. Her first marriage was for 14 years and her second marriage was for 11 years. She’s been on her own now for about 20 years. In the years since her divorce she’s become a published author and enjoys driving a 30-foot Winnebago around during the summer months. Elsi is also a born-again Christian and that’s where I want to start her story. I asked Elsi how she reconciles her divorces with being Christian?
In God’s eyes, there is certainly no acceptance of divorce as an acceptable solution to minor problems.
If you go to the Humane Society and you get a dog and the dog bites people and piddles all over your rugs and your furniture, you take the dog back. There’s no commitment to keep that dog for the rest of your life or the rest of its life. From a Christian point of view, however, you are committed to a husband. That is God’s plan.
I did not seek my first divorce. I was in agreement with it but it was sought by my husband. I knew I shouldn’t remarry and did it anyway. That was an abusive situation. Again, I did not seek the divorce but I did seek a legal separation, a financial separation, and he then went ahead and filed for divorce.
“Hello, I’m a Christian. I’ve been divorced twice,” is a set of statements that clang. There’s dissonance there. It doesn’t work. I should have stuck with my first marriage. I was weak and young and didn’t. I think I would have been miserable and so would he. I gave it as much effort as I thought I could at the time. Still, I should have stuck with it.
God is good. God is gracious and God forgives. It’s not that God smiles on the fact that I’m divorced but that he accepts and offers forgiveness and we go on with life.
My experiences in those marriages mean that I hear other women who are in difficult situations and can speak to them. If you’ve got an issue, you want somebody who’s been there because they know what you’re talking about. They know the language, the feelings.
God uses everything. He uses my divorces, He uses the spousal abuse, He uses the childhood molestation. Much of what I write about comes out of those very difficult situations and it touches peoples’ hearts. That’s God’s grace.
The Divorce Coach Says
I was raised a Christian and was married in a Christian church. Although I’m no longer a church-goer or a church-member, breaking my wedding vows was a hard decision to make. Even now, I can’t say I’ve completely reconciled that. How about you? What did breaking your wedding vows mean to you? How did you come to terms with it?
As I mentioned, Elsi is a published author. In addition to her book, RV Tourist – Tips, Tools and Stories, her devotionals and inspirational non-fiction pieces have appeared in a number of compilation books. For a full listing of publications, visit Elsi Dodge‘s website. You can also follow her musings at her Meandering Moments .