There are no guarantees in life. We all know that and that ‘s perhaps why sometimes we cling so hard to what we know. Yet, sometimes it’s letting go of everything that leads to discovering what life’s really about:
On a good note, I’m now happily in love which I never knew what that felt like. The contrast is like “Oh my God, now I’m living.” I’m not stressed, I laugh easily and I sleep at night. It’s completely different. I’m just lighter now. ~ Lisa
Lisa was in her mid-forties when she divorced. She’d struggled with a sexless marriage for over twenty years. The divorce itself was extremely difficult involving loss of access to money, loss of her car and her home and even alienation of the children. Despite that she did not waver in her resolve to end the marriage. She really did survive divorce.
The Divorce Coach Says
Divorce is an opportunistic event – for the person initiating the breakup they have to believe their life will be intrinsically better or fundamentally improved by ending the marriage even though there isn’t certainty about what their future life may entail. And while working through the divorce may be difficult, or in Lisa’s case extremely dire, the initiator has that vision of a better life to guide them and motivator them.
The non-initiator often doesn’t have that vision and therein lies their challenge … seeing a life beyond marriage when what they may want most of all is the married life they had. Facing that challenge takes time, and allowing yourself to grieve. This is where the initiator can help by not rushing ahead with the legal process and forcing their partner to make life-changing decisions under pressure.