To recap, this series is about Lauren, who blogs at My Life Incomplete. Lauren was with her husband for ten years (married for five) and they split up when she was 28. She’s been divorced for two years now. They have a son who is now four.
When Lauren talked about finding the right track after divorce, she said she had started to write which was something she’d always wanted to do and yet had not done and probably wouldn’t have done, if she’d stayed married. Here’s what she said.
I have always enjoyed writing. I’ve always written, mostly for myself but I don’t think I would have ever done anything to try to become a writer. I probably would have just continued my nine-to-five job for the next 40 years. However, coming out of the divorce had me thinking,
“If I can do that, I can do anything. If I want to do something about the fact that I enjoy writing and would like to earn money doing it, then I should just start doing it.”
My ex and I share custody 50-50 so that does leave me with time to be productive in ways that don’t relate as much to motherhood. I don’t consider myself a part-time mom. I’m always a mom. I’ve always got mom responsibilities even if my son is with his dad. However, I certainly have time for myself to write and I didn’t have that time when I was married – I played more of the stereotypical mother-wife role.
I talked to a couple of editors, one at Taste of Home magazine and another at Cosmo and they both suggested I start with a blog. I didn’t know anything about blogging, I wasn’t aware how many people are out there doing it. I thought it was a place to put writing on the internet in case anyone wanted to see it. I had a couple of friends who had personal blogs, a place to write about their vacations or the Christmas newsletter. A blog seemed like a more elaborate Facebook.
So anyway, I got started on my blog and started reading other blogs and commenting, thinking, the only way I’m going to get people to recognize my blog is if I’m recognizing theirs.
It became much more interactive than I imagined. I know the people I communicate with through our blogs just as well, if not better than people I know in real life. Being new to the cyber world, I didn’t expect that. I didn’t expect to find such a connection with complete strangers who I’ve never met in person. It’s neat because in my real life, all my friends are married with children and I’m the only single one. I don’t have single moms in my real life cycle who I can talk to about single-parenting. I don’t have friends who’ve been through divorce to talk to about the things that go along with that and I don’t have friends who are writers or have any dreams to be a writer.
Finding people online who have those things in common with me has really opened my eyes to opportunities, to people, to ideas on how to be a better single mom, to better a co-parent, to pursue my writing. I’ve learned and been exposed to so much that I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t started blogging.
Yay, Lauren! Lauren also shared with me that she’s just had her first paid article published by Chicago Parent Magazine. I’m sure it’ll be the first of many.
I appreciate Lauren’s sentiment that if she could make it through divorce, then there was no reason she couldn’t start writing. My divorce also made me feel stronger and more courageous in some ways – (when it comes to physical pain, I still use childbirth as my measuring stick!). And, like Lauren I’ve changed my career although that was happening at the same as the end of my marriage. I think it had to do with approaching 50, feeling my life was more than half over and wanting desperately to lead a happy life.
Did your divorce motivate you to do something you’d always wanted to but had never really tried? Is your marriage stopping you from trying something?