Ask Me About My Divorce is a collection of twenty-nine stories, edited by Candace Walsh, from women about their divorce. Each writer takes you through the lead up to her divorce, her spouse’s role/reaction and the creation of her new life after divorce.
The stories include tales of extra-martial affairs, addiction and co-dependency, polygamy, mental illness, coming out and just plain old, drifting apart with little in common. But each of these women shares how she blossomed afterward, finding inner strength to create a new life – paths that sometimes meant overcoming the stigma of divorce, new and exciting work opportunities, new romantic partners, travel, relocation, academic study, and even tattoos and salsa dancing. Walsh’s story of realizing her own true sexual orientation is included.
There’s very little discussion of the legal process – I have a theory about that. Aside from being potentially tedious and complex, I think it’s a little like the unspoken creed about childbirth. If the divorced people said too much about it, then married people would never get divorced and as Walsh says, divorce can mean inspiration and salvation. The legalities shouldn’t be seen as an insurmountable obstacle to a new life.
Through my own interviews, I’ve come to realize that divorce is highly individual – there are so many variables, it’s hard to imagine any two divorces being identical. However, these stories are so varied, I was able to find elements that were common to my own situation in many of them. That’s what makes this book a helpful guide to any woman who is facing divorce, whether she’s initiating it or it’s been thrust upon her. And remember, initiating divorce doesn’t make it a choice, freely made. If your marriage isn’t working, if you’re wondering if what’s happening in your marriage is “normal” or you’re wondering if divorce is right for you, then Ask Me About My Divorce may give you some answers and may help you visualize a new life after divorce where you can be yourself and be happy.
And if you’d like to know more about Candace Walsh, there’s an interview with Caroline Leavitt at Caroline’s blog. I’ve asked Candace if she’d like to share what she’s learned since her divorce, for this blog – I’m keeping my fingers crossed she’ll say yes to an interview.