According to some sources the average cost of divorce in the U.S. is $15,000 but ending your marriage could easily run much higher especially if you’re letting your emotions make your decisions. This is a concern for most people and fortunately there are ways to manage these expenses.
Use Your Experts Wisely
You will likely find yourself working with a team of experts – an attorney, a Realtor, a therapist, an accountant, a coach … Each has their area of expertise and you should try to keep your conversations with a particular expert within their area of expertise. For example, venting to your attorney about your ex is not going to be any more productive than discussing with your therapist what is and is not a marital asset. If you start relaying the latest in your on-going saga with your ex to your attorney, they may find it difficult to stop you: none of us like to appear unsympathetic or dispassionate and while you’re offloading, the clock is running.
Understand How The Charging Works
Before you start working with a professional, get a clear understanding of how they will be billing you.Your attorney will likely charge you by time spent on your case but that’s not just their time. It’s anyone in their office who works on your case although that may be at a different rate. It also means that you’ll be charged for time spent on phone calls, and reading and responding to emails. Your accountant probably also charges on a time spent basis.
Your therapist may be covered by your health insurance however you may have a deductible to meet first and there may be a cap on the number of covered visits. If your therapist is “out-of-network” then your share of the cost will be higher and you might consider looking for another therapist.
A Realtor typically works on commission and while that means no direct charge to you, it is important that you read any agreement before signing so you understand the terms, rates and where the commission ultimately comes from.
Do Your Own Research
You may be able to save on hourly billings by doing some legwork yourself. In the legal area for example, you can research the basic forms of divorce (tradition, mediation and collaborative), how the divorce process works in your state and the definition of a marital asset in your state. This equips you with some base knowledge, saves your attorney from have to explain all this and means you can spend that time on questions about your particular situation.
With your finances, the IRS website is a rich source of information where you can find out how your separation might affect your filing status and get an idea of the tax treatment on the division of different type of assets. Again, armed with this basic information you can have a more detailed discussion with your accountant.
You can also ask your experts what you can do to save expenses. Your attorney might say that by filing as a co-petitioner you’ll save on some fees and the cost of having the papers served. If you’ve consulted with your attorney, know your legal position, and you and your STBX have come to an agreement you’re satisfied with, then you could save on legal fees by filing an online divorce [affiliate] using a service like My Divorce Papers to create the necessary legal documents for you to file yourselves.
Choose Your Battles
When it comes to tangibles like personal belongings, investments and even debts, your decision should be based on a cost-benefit analysis rather than emotional rationale. The cost-benefit analysis isn’t always straightforward especially where future benefits are concerned however, your experts should be able to help you put a dollar figure on the benefit and you can weigh that against what it could cost you. Those costs include not only the professional fees but also the costs of your own time.
Parenting battles fall into different territory and can be much harder to assess especially when it comes to questions of access, values and morals. However, with no guarantees in custody battles, it’s still important to choose your battles. Does what you’re fighting over jeopardize your child’s safety or well-being? Are you truly acting in your child’s interest? Is incurring significant debt the best way you can support your child? Are there alternative, albeit unconventional solutions?
Talk To Your Spouse
The more you and your STBX can agree on together, the more you will save in professional fees. Once you both know your respective legal rights, then you can discuss the division of assets together and you can discuss your parenting plan. If you are able to communicate, then this is far more efficient than routing each issue through your respective attorneys. Chances are you won’t be able to agreed on everything so agree on what you can and then refer the remaining issues to your attorneys.
Spending your hard earned money on divorce-related expenses may seem like a waste and it maybe tempting to just skip some of the professional expertise altogether. This is not something I would advise. It’s a false economy and one spouse recommending this is often a red flag that they are attempting to undercut their partner’s legal rights. I prefer to see these professional fees as an investment in the future because what you negotiate as your divorce settlement will have profound and lasting effects for years to come.
Have you found other ways to manage your legal expenses?
Thankfully, we’ve agreed on everything, and we don’t have children/custody to worry about or real estate to divvy up. So we’ve decided to go it pro se (without lawyers) and do it ourselves. No sense in wasting all our $$$ on lawyers if we don’t need to.
I don’t recommend this course for everyone, certainly, but for us? It works.
Hi Erin, There are definitely situations when going pro se can work and work well. I’m glad it worked for you. It’s just important that people make a fully informed decision to go that way and not choose it simply to avoid legal fees.
This is very true. I thought about doing the divorce myself until I was blindsided by my soon to be ex who went ahead and filed first! He is asking for complete custody of our child, physical and joint. He is also asking to do a discovery of all my emails, phone records and texts because he filed under adultery. I’ve never cheated. So I say all of that to say when in question, get a lawyer. I paid $2500 but like the article said it’s an investment for my future and I have the comfort of knowing everything will be done right and hopefully I get full physical custody but if not at least joint physical and legal.
Oh dear Kimberly. Since all states in the U.S. offer no-fault divorce this is not a good sign. You are very smart to hire an attorney. Going for at-fault is going to be more expensive. I hope your attorney can figure out a way for your STBX pay your increased legal fees … Stay strong.
When my husband and I filed for divorce we used http://www.washingtondivorceonline.com to prepare our divorce documents since we were in agreement on everything. It was only $249 which was less than some of the attorneys I called wanted just for the initial consultation. I agree with the previous poster…why pay for an attorney if you are capable of filing your divorce Pro Se…
Always a good idea to save money where you can and there are more and more options for doing your own paperwork. I do still believe that it is essential to seek legal advice to start with so you have a clear understanding of your rights and obligations.