When I talk to women about their accomplishments since getting divorced, I always asked what resources were the most helpful. This is the treasure trove of those resources. Feel free to add your own resources in the comments section.
Career/Work Development
Marcus Buckingham – First Break All the Rules, Now Discover Your Strengths, and Go, Put Your Strengths to Work. His message is very much that if you play to your strengths, you will be a much more effective person all round. Most people don’t recognize their strengths because they do what they think they should be doing. This was one of the resources Cathy found helpful when she realized she’d be downplaying her talents and skills during her marriage.
Relationships
Gail Sheehy – Sex and the Seasoned Woman. Seasoned women (45 and up) shared candid stories about finding their passions, exploring mid-life relationships, and reawakening sexual desire. Cathy, who’d been in a troubled marriage for 29 years, found this a helpful resource as she set out to become a passionate woman.
Bruce Fisher – Rebuilding: When Your Relationship Ends. Fisher breaks the divorce process into stages and walks you through each stage. You have to go through each stage to actually finish processing the whole event. You can’t skip. Sue says “It was really helpful. It was a bible. I kept it by my bedside and when we were going through a particularly trying time, I would read the book and he was on the money. He had it down.” There are also seminars available in different locations.
Money
Vicki Robin & Joe Dominguez – Your Money or Your Life: 9 Steps to Transforming your Relationship with Money and Achieving Financial Independence. This is a guide to getting out of debt, reordering your priorities and living well for less, and resolving inner conflicts between values and lifestyle. Sue says this book did absolutely transform her relationship with money, helping her out of bankruptcy. Read my review of Your Money or Your Life.
Carol Ann Wilson – Divorce Survival Kit – includes audio CDs, a workbook with forms and checklists and 23 lists of what you need to know about different aspects of the divorce process.
David Bach – Smart Women Finish Rich – recommended by Ann Rouse. She liked Bach’s philosophy of setting aside money for your dreams and thinking about purchases over $200 for several days to determine the real reason you want to make the purchase. He also advocates carrying cash so you’re more in tune with your spending.
Spirituality
Pema Chödrön – When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times – A Tibetan Buddhism guide to life’s tough times. Sally said this became her guide through her divorce process.
Healing
Beginning Experience – Recommended by Ann Rouse, Beginning Experience is an international organization offering weekend programs for adults grieving the loss of a love relationship through death, divorce or separation.
C.S. Lewis – A Grief Observed – Taken from Lewis’s journal entries after his wife died, Elsi Dodge found this book phenomenally helpful in coming to terms with the emotions following divorce. She says she’s probably given away more copies of this book than any other.
Parenting
Two Happy Homes by Dr. Shirley Thomas – a working guide for parents and stepparents after divorce and remarriage. Dr. Shirley is our family therapist and is a wonderful resource for us. She has two other publications – Parents Are Forever and Divorced But Still My Parents.
