Yesterday, the Divorce Encouragist (@dvrcncouragist) shared how adjusting to less money after divorce was a challenge. I think having less money after divorce is the one universal truth about divorce – is there ANYONE who has more money after divorce?
I think it’s an easy assumption that if you have less money, it means doing less. For the Divorce Encouragist though this wasn’t the case. Looking back on the three years since her divorce, she says her most significant accomplishment was to rebuild her life into something she wanted to participate in. As I listened to her, I could hear how she was relishing her life now. Here’s DE…
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When I was married, I was depressed and I was tired all the time. I got up and went to work in the morning and I got home from work, slept on the couch and watched 90210 reruns on the soap opera channel. I didn’t do much. I guess I was trying to sleep it off. I was getting through the days by sleeping and throughout the days I was thinking the sooner I go to sleep, the sooner this day will be over.
Then, when I was moving into my place, I had this epiphany. My dad helped me move in a new stereo and we put on this old Pink Floyd record. I sat down on the floor, I didn’t have any furniture yet, and I just laid back and realized I was in this space that was MINE. It was an a-ha moment. I was going to fill it with whatever I wanted and I was going to do what I wanted. I had my life back! I was very happy and I started laughing until I was crying. My dad didn’t know what to do.
I don’t sleep on the couch anymore and now I’m staying up till one o’clock in the morning every night.
I’ve done so many things since I left. I went back to school and finished my Bachelor’s degree. I took a yoga class, I took a photography class, I took a parenting class and I’ve made new friends.I moved closer to my job so I don’t have to commute so far. I have a boyfriend now and we go out, we go snowboarding or out to dinner. I roller-skate. I didn’t do anything at all before.
I have more energy now and I’m much happier. People tell me I seem much happier and that I seem like a different person now.
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Do you remember that feeling of being drained of energy? I do. It almost didn’t matter what it was, it always seemed like work and I certainly wasn’t enjoying it. Then, when we separated, I felt taller, and could literally feel the energy rushing through my limbs.
DE’s divorce has changed the path of her life – obviously. She wouldn’t be going by “the Divorce Encouragist” otherwise. More than just a twitter identity, DE has the Divorce Encouragist blog and is working on becoming a divorce coach. She’ll be sharing more about both of these topics in the last two posts of this series so I hope you’ll be back to visit.
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That sounds familiar
I recently went through a similar situation. I really was at a point where I need to pick myself up and be happy again. I was out of ideas. I was going to counseling but needed something else to get back my identity, really learn who I was again and find my passion for life. I found this by working with life coach, Sherri Nickols at http://Unleashyourself.com. Sherri has been wonderful to work with. Right now I am attending an teleseminar called How to Find & Own Your Playful Sexy Self and it is really helpful and motivating. It is just what I needed after my break up.
Hi Jenn – I love the title of the teleseminar – very appealing. Are you working with Sherri face-to-face or over the phone? I'm interested to know how it works.
The thought of having less money is often worse than the reality. The problem is that the thought comes during the divorce and has a lot to do with the war that can happen over the finances.
My recent post What is a Divorce Coaching Program