Comments on: Divorce is a grief process

By: Mandy

Mandy — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 00:10:07 +0000

I interviewed another lady today who also felt that most her grieving had come during her decision-making before the actual separation. And to answer your other question, No, you can’t divorce your parents! I’m saying that because my father recently passed away and my mum passed away many years ago so now I am an orphan. It’s very odd feeling, almost lonely. I feel no one is watching over me anymore. That said, I’m sorry your parents are being more supportive. I sorry they can’t accept your decision. I know it’s easy to say, but stick with it, keep talking to them. Maybe they’ll come round and after all, they are still your children’s grandparents.

By: Cori

Cori — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 05:57:17 +0000

I agree with Mandy that my grieving process occurred mostly before my ex and I separated. I have found, now, long after its been over and done with legally, that most of the ongoing pain that surfaces is from lack of support and understanding from my parents. Nearly a year after its done, they still act like its something I’ve done to them. Hard for me to fully move on when they want to keep treating me like a constant disappointment. Can I divorce them too?

By: Mandy

Mandy — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 21:15:23 +0000

While the experts do say everybody goes through the same emotional stages, I think everyone goes through them on their own timescale. Much of my own anger and grief came before my ex and I actually separated. I started grieving when I realized the relationship was over and couldn’t be repaired.

By: StudentMama

StudentMama — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 18:56:01 +0000

I’m still wondering if I’ve dealt with the grief from the ending of the marriage. I do have to say – through the year that we were going to counseling, I really did put the kabosh on our relationship – the denial, anger, depression, acceptance…Looking back, I wonder if that led to it’s demise more quickly? I’m certain, from all the wisdom, that this is something I have yet to go through. Right now, I suppose, I’m spending time enjoying myself a bit before the challenges ahead.

By: Jolene

Jolene — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 17:12:16 +0000

SO true – divorce is a grief process…I found it so much similar to griefing a loss of a loved one, because in a way, it really is. Good post.