After divorce, seeing your ex with a new partner or date is a pivotal moment. It can stir up lots of emotions and you may even be jealous of your ex dating someone else and be confused by that:
He actually started dating someone who was another parent at our school and our children are friends. A lot of people want that to be a big drama but I noticed a change in his behavior towards me instantly. I didn’t want him back so all I could do was just say, “I’m really happy for you.” And I was happy for him. It actually made my life easier to just let it be and not make a stink over it. ~ Michelle
Michelle and her husband were married for sixteen years. Their two children were aged fourteen and twelve when the marriage ended. Aside from dealing with her emotions from seeing her ex with a new partner, Michelle also had to help her child cope with her feelings.
What The Divorce Coach Says
It’s only natural to experience some emotions when you see your ex with someone new. However, that feeling of jealousy or envy may not be about wanting to reconcile with your ex but rather about wanting to be in an intimate relationship. You may be feeling jealous of what you see your ex now enjoying. This is particularly true if you’re not dating or are frustrated with dating.
When you do hear the news your ex is dating someone new, don’t take your emotions on face value. Remember the reality of living with your ex. Remember the reasons why your marriage couldn’t be saved. Then ask yourself if it’s a committed, intimate relationship you’re truly missing?
Understanding this difference in your emotional reaction is the first step in accepting your ex’s new partner into your family circle and it could be a sign that you’re ready to start dating after divorce.