In 2006, after almost 18 years, my personal life took a challenging turn when I decided I could no longer stay married. The process of getting divorced was relatively easy for me and then I faced living as a single woman in my fifties, raising two teenagers. I was also transitioning from 20-plus years as a customer service executive in financial services to become a writer and journalist.
At first, I was intimidated to be on my own, to be solely responsible for maintaining my home. How would I deal with
“Mom, the toilet’s clogged!”
“Mom, the Internet’s down!”
“Mom, the satellite’s not working!”
How would I change the light bulb in the chandelier? Who would put up the curtain rod? How would I juggle the children’s schedules? How would I support myself while completing my masters and freelancing? Would I be OK on my own on the weekends when the children weren’t with me?
I started to keep a list in my journal – some of it’s stupid stuff – like actually setting a mousetrap and getting rid of the mouse I caught. Or changing the flush mechanism in the toilet and climbing the ladder to change that light bulb in the hall chandelier. I’ve put up shelves and curtain rods – that was once I realized that the electric drill didn’t work very well because I had it reverse!
Each new challenge I mastered brought a boost of confidence, an easing of self-doubt and growing sense of well being. Somehow mastering the electric drill was more than simply a new skill; it was that moment that told me I was going to be fine. Now what I’m most proud of is the my journey to my new life after divorce – taking the severance from my 20+ year career in financial services, getting up the courage to end my marriage, completing a master’s in journalism. It wasn’t that my ex-spouse was stopping me – it was just I was so unhappy, I was going through the motions of living. Now I feel like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing and living life the way I was meant to.
Is there something you’ve accomplished since your divorce that you’re really proud of? Something you’ve done that you’ve always wanted to but weren’t able to while you were married? What have you learned about dating after divorce? If you have a story you’d like to share, please contact me, Mandy@sincemydivorce.com. We’ll talk ……
